STAY-AT-HOME MOM OR WORKING MOM

Katie was a stay-at-home mom with one son in eighth grade and a daughter in fourth.  In her “previous life” before kids, she had lived in New York City as a singer and had performed in some Off Broadway musicals. But she gave it all up when she got married, moved away and had her children.  Still, her love of music remained. 

She came to me for coaching when she was stuck between two worlds – one as a stay-at-home mom, which she had loved for the past thirteen years, and the other world of wanting to perform and sing again.  We spent a few sessions discussing what it would be like if she were doing both – what would her life look like?  To digress here let me say that in coaching, the “what” questions are far more effective than the “why” or “how” questions.  Think about asking a child “what's making you cry?” instead of “why are you crying?”  When you ask “why”, they don't know – tired? hungry? wet?  But when you ask “what,” they know what's making them cry – I'm  hungry, or I'm tired or whatever it is.  When I asked Katie what she would have to do to set herself up for success, she had a “light bulb” moment. A surprising number of people are not able to move forward with action steps not because they are afraid of failure, but because they are afraid of success.  Fear of how success might change their life.  Katie knew if she were a successful performer again -  maybe even back on the stage in NYC, she risked feeling like a  failure as a mom.  With that realization, she decided it was not the time to return to professional performing but instead she chose to start her own business and give singing lessons.  The added benefit, which Katie never expected, was her own children deepened their love of singing and music by hearing their mom teach others to sing.  After a few years of giving singing lessons in her home studio, Katie then went on to be hired to help with the after school high school music program.  She also participated in community theater where her family enjoyed watching her perform.  Once her children graduated and were off to college, Katie began having singing instruction in nearby NYC and eventually returned to performing in a few Off Broadway shows. 

It is not an easy decision if you are now a stay-at-home mom to return to the workplace or  to the profession you left, but it can be an opportunity to look at your career in new ways – choosing to work part time, finding a new aspect of the field that interests you, setting up a home office, becoming a consultant or starting your own business, are just a few.  There are creative ways to think about this decision without becoming stuck.  Ask yourself some “what” questions and see where it takes you.

More...

TIME FOR ME – ARE YOU KIDDING?


I CAN'T BALANCE IT ALL


I FEEL LIKE THE MAID


 

 


The opportunity to be coached by Dee has changed the quality of my life.  As a mother of four children ranging in age from 3 to 15,  I chose to put my family first not realizing that by doing this I was putting myself last. 

Through coaching, I have learned that when I pay attention to my needs and values, I can create a life that fulfills me and therefore blesses my family.  It is the best gift I have given my family.  I make choices to fill myself with what truly makes me feel like I am living and not just existing...a difference I could never live without now! 

Thank you Dee!

Marie-Anne B
Homemaker/ Graduate Studies


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